


A Conversation of Avoidance

by Aluxra



Category: Tales of the High Court Series - Megan Derr
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 21:31:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13819836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aluxra/pseuds/Aluxra
Summary: Allen and Sarrica get into an argument, which causes Allen to reveal a painful memory from his past.





	A Conversation of Avoidance

**Author's Note:**

> Again, like my previous fic, this is set between "The High King's Golden Tongue" and "The Pirate of Fathoms Deep". I'm not as happy with this one as I am with the previous fic, but I'm not sure what I'm missing in this one.
> 
> Enjoy xXx

Lesto sighed and rolled his eye as he approached the heavy wooden doors of Sarrica’s office, the argument raging inside audible even from half way across the room. The secretaries and the guards on sentry had the good sense to pretend not to hear – or at the very least pretend they were pretending not to hear, if Lesto’s one good eye didn’t fail him in noting the shifting of gazes to the door and between themselves - but no one stopped him as he lifted his hand to push the door open. It fell away from under his hand, and Allen stormed out; pink-cheeked and bright eyed, his teeth clenched vice-tight in a barely-contained snarl that made it clear he wanted to punch Sarrica in his stupid face. Lesto couldn’t blame him, the urge to do so himself rose up sometimes four or five times before breakfast, depending on the day.

Allen stopped short before he crashed into Lesto, his eyes widening when he realised he was there, and gathered himself up to his full height – still quite shorter than Lesto himself – with a cold, haughty glare.

‘Excuse me, Lesto, the _song bird_ must return to his gilded perch since he’s far too _delicate_ to handle certain royal duties,’ he snapped, stepping around him and continued to storm out the offices, his guards falling in after him after a quick glance at Lesto.

Lesto watched him go until he disappeared out the door and left a heavy silence in his wake, save for the scribble of pens against paper, and the awkward cough from one of the secretaries. He eyed everyone in the room one last time before he stepped into the main office and closed the door firmly behind him, folding his arms across his chest and glaring at Sarrica.

‘What did you do now, you bag of old herring?’

Sarrica threw his hands up in exasperation, leaning back in his chair and rubbing one hand over his face. The other reached for a goblet of wine – which had surprisingly survived the argument – and he gestured at Lesto with it.

‘Why is it, that whenever we have an argument, everyone always assumes _I’m_ the one in the wrong?’ he demanded, finishing the wine in one swallow and setting the goblet down. ‘Has anyone ever considered that perhaps Allen is the one overreacting?’

‘Oh, I agree that he should be used to you being an idiot, considering how your marriage began, but I also know he only refers to himself as a song bird when you’re being _exceptionally_ stupid,’ Lesto drawled, pushing himself away from the door and approaching Sarrica’s desk. ‘What were you two fools getting so hot headed over?’

Sarrica sighed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his desk, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands. He dragged his fingers through his hair, looking over the papers on his desk without really seeing them. After a short stretch of silence, he tutted. ‘There’s unrest along the Carthian border; rebels who don't know when to stay down are causing trouble. I want them dealt with as quickly and as sternly as possible.’

‘Fathoms Deep can leave at your command,’ Lesto offered, even as Sarrica shook his head.

‘No. The men I had in mind are Penance Gate,’ Sarrica said, rubbing his eyes. ‘Considering they have had previous dealings in Cartha when we went to rescue Rene and Allen, I wanted to make the message clear to these inciting rebels.’

‘I still fail to see how that could spark an argument between you and Allen,’ Lesto said. ‘Stop dawdling around the point and _get to it_ already.’

‘I would need to speak with Captain Chass, about what I expect from his and his mercenaries,’ Sarrica finally snapped, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms, staring up at Lesto stubbornly.

Lesto narrowed his one eye at the name. ‘Allen’s elder brother.’

‘Who split his back open with a whip, repeatedly, when they were younger,’ Sarrica snarled, his fingers tightening on his upper arms as if he wanted to find the bastard and punch him all over again.

‘And Allen is upset because he doesn’t want Chass for this mission?’ Lesto guessed, though he could already tell that wasn’t the problem. Sarrica shook his head.

‘No, he doesn’t care what his brother does, as long as he does it far away from him and there’s a chance he doesn’t come back,’ Sarrica replied. He shrugged. ‘A sentiment I share, to a degree.’

‘So what in the Pantheon did you say to spark Allen’s anger?’

‘I simply said he needn’t be at the meeting if he didn’t want to be there.’

Lesto stared.

‘That is all I said!’

‘Did you actually say it like that, or did it sound more like an order that he wasn’t going to attend the meeting regardless of what he wanted?’ Lesto asked. Sarrica’s jaw tightened. Ah.

Lesto sighed. ‘Sarrica…’

‘I don’t want that monster anywhere near my husband,’ Sarrica interrupted him, standing up and grabbing his goblet, taking it over to the carafe of wine on the serving table. ‘Why does that make me such a villain?’

‘I’m sure Allen doesn’t want to be anywhere near him either,’ Lesto agreed, following him to the clutter of armchairs arranged around the small serving table and taking a seat in one. He plucked the unused goblet from the table and filled it, taking a gulp as he settled back against the cushions. ‘Usually, Allen wouldn’t need to be present when meeting with the mercenaries. However, they are brothers, and I get the impression that if Allen is not by your side when you meet with Chass, his absence won’t go unnoticed.’

‘Chass won’t dare utter a breath about Allen’s absence,’ Sarrica said darkly, taking the chair opposite Lesto. ‘Not if he is painfully aware of what is good for him.’

‘He might not say anything; I trust he is, at the very least, smarter than that,’ Lesto agreed, ‘but not even you can stop him thinking, and he will be thinking of the reasons why Allen is not present.’

‘It should hardly be a shock to him that Allen doesn’t want to be in the same room as him, especially since he knows we are all aware of what he did to Allen,’ Sarrica replied.

‘True, but has it occurred to you that he will assume Allen doesn’t want to be in the same room as him, because Allen is _frightened_ of him?’ Lesto asked.

Sarrica paused lifting his goblet to his lips, lowering it back to the arm of his chair. ‘He _is_ frightened of him, Lesto. There are nights where he still wakes from nightmares that, from what he describes to me, are a twisted mix of what happened during his childhood and what happened in Cartha.’

Lesto grimaced, imagining the sort of nightmares Allen would be having with his history. He remained silent as Sarrica took a swallow from his goblet, swirling the wine with an idle roll of his wrist as he stroked his beard, watching Lesto.

‘If you ever breathe a word of what I just told you to anyone, even Rene, I will gut you with a dull spoon and feed you to the fish.’

‘I wouldn’t betray your trust, or his, like that,’ Lesto said quietly. ‘The point still remains, even if Chass has some notion that Allen is afraid of him, if he sees it true for himself, how do you think Allen will feel? What do you think that will do to him in the bigger scheme of things? Soldiers talk, Sarrica, not even you can stop them from doing that, but men like Chass like _bragging_ more than they like talking.’

Sarrica huffed, gritting his teeth. ‘I offered that he would be busy dealing with other matters while I met with Captain Chass. It would not be so strange given he is more proficient with Court matters than I am.’

‘An absence is still an absence, and if it were anyone else, it wouldn’t matter. As it stands, I think he has a point to prove and needs to do so,’ Lesto replied, taking another drink of wine. ‘And his husband treating him like he can’t handle himself isn’t helping.’

‘I think he can handle himself just fine.’

‘He referred to himself as a song bird,’ Lesto reminded him. ‘That tells me the impression you gave him is anything _but_ that you believe he can handle himself.’

Sarrica sighed, draining his goblet and set it down with a clatter beside the carafe. Rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands again, he pushed his hair back from his face and looked at Lesto squarely. Lesto raised his goblet to him, having made his point.

Sarrica shook his head, waving him off. ‘Damn you, you stubborn old goat, what are doing here anyway, dealing with my marriage?’

‘I am either blessed or cursed by the Pantheon to always know when you are being a stubborn old goat, yourself,’ Lesto replied with a smile, setting his empty goblet beside Sarrica’s. ‘Also, we hauled in another group of pirates two days out who we suspect has been disrupting our trade runs – if you could call them pirates. Bunch of Penance Realm-cursed idiots, but they're being dealt with; you're welcome.’

Sarrica grinned. ‘No black eye this time, or is your eye patch conveniently hiding it?’

‘Fuck you. Go apologise to your husband.’

‘Yes, yes,’ Sarrica agreed, standing from his seat. Lesto followed suit in one fluid motion, reaching out and clasping Sarrica’s forearm. Sarrica did the same, and they drew each other in to a hug.

‘What would I do without you, Lesto?’ Sarrica said as they broke apart.

‘You’d actually have to run the Empire, and be miserable for it with an unhappy husband ignoring you,’ Lesto replied.

‘I will apologise! Now go find some decent pirates, maybe you'll be lucky to find another one brave enough to punch you.’

Lesto crudely gestured with two fingers. Sarrica just laughed and waved him away before he left to deal with his husband.

* * *

Sarrica stepped into his suite, seeing it empty; the door leading to the private study was ajar, and he made his way there. Sure enough, Allen sat at the desk, reading over one of the reports piled in front of him; he ignored Sarrica as he entered and sat in the chair opposite Allen. Leaning back in his chair and clasping his hands together, he rested his elbows on the arms of the chair and waited patiently for Allen to either speak or continue ignoring him.

‘I am not speaking to you,’ Allen said coldly.

‘Would you be willing to listen, then?’

Allen lifted the report higher in front of his face, hiding it entirely from Sarrica’s view. Sarrica sighed.

‘I am sorry, Allen.’

The paper remained blocking his view, though the silence behind it changed; Sarrica considered it a step in the right direction.

‘I did not say what I said, in order to make you feel like you were too delicate or too weak to be part of the meeting with Captain Chass,’ he continued. ‘I want to protect you, but I don’t want you to think I am doing so for those reasons. I do not wish to see you distressed or hurt, and while I do not doubt you would be able to handle yourself during such a meeting, I still worry how it might affect you. I still wish to avoid finding that out.’

‘I tried that once,’ Allen finally said, his voice thick and choked behind the paper. Sarrica cocked his head.

‘Tried what?’

‘Avoiding him. Them.’ A quick, sharp, sniff; Allen’s free hand disappeared behind the paper before returning to rest on his lap. ‘I began to tell, as the beatings continued, when they would come for me. One night, I tried to hide, escape from them; it made the whippings worse. They thought me weak and a coward for trying to save myself from their beatings, a pathetic little brat too afraid of a little pain. I didn’t dare try to avoid them after that.’

He fell silent after that.

Sarrica frowned, leaning forward and resting his fingertips on Allen’s clenched fist. Gently pushing his hand down, Allen’s face was revealed; his cheeks still flushed a rosy hue like they had been back in their offices, his jaw still set in a hard line. However, his eyes now shone bright and wet with tears, speckling his long lashes, a few stray ones escaping down his cheeks in long, neat lines.

He looked away from Sarrica, brushing his fingertips across his face in short, angry sweeps.

‘I know neither of them can do anything to me, now,’ he said, trying to keep his voice steady and his face blank, even as the tears continued to threaten. ‘I know they can’t touch me, I don’t have to hide from them anymore. I don’t want to hide from them, and if you expect me to cower behind you or my position as High Consort like some kind of useless little song bird, you are entirely mistaken because I will –’

Sarrica, who had stood from his chair and had moved around to stand beside Allen while he spoke, gripped his shoulders and pulled him to his feet, drawing him close in a tight embrace. He could feel Allen vibrate against him with the tension of trying to hold himself together, refusing even now with his face hidden, pressed against Sarrica’s chest, to let go of his emotions.

‘One day,’ Sarrica said quietly, stroking his fingers down Allen’s sides, ‘I hope to earn your forgiveness for that slight I made against you.’

Allen shook his head, his arms encircling Sarrica’s broad back, his hands coming to a rest just under his shoulder blades. ‘I have forgiven you; I am sorry, I spoke harshly to you.’

‘I should know better than to try ordering you to do anything,’ Sarrica replied with a half-smile. Allen laughed weakly against his chest, sniffling quietly as he drew back slightly, dipping his head to press his forehead against Sarrica’s chest. Sarrica cupped his face in his large hands, tilting his head up till their eyes met, and swiped his thumbs across Allen’s cheeks.

‘I know you are not weak, or delicate; I am sorry I made you feel that way,’ he said quietly, closing the gap between them to press a gentle kiss against Allen’s lips. Allen responded, reaching up to draw Sarrica into a deeper kiss, slanting their lips together and didn’t stop kissing him until they both needed breath.

‘I forgive you,’ Allen murmured against his lips, before he stepped back and drew out a handkerchief, dabbing his face to get rid of any remaining tears. ‘I’m sorry, I should wash up, and we should return to the office.’

‘Let us have lunch first,’ Sarrica suggested. ‘I will call for it to be brought here and we can continue work after we’ve rested.’

Allen gave a weak smile. ‘Very well, I will be out in a few minutes.’

He stepped away and turned to the door when Sarrica grabbed his hand pulled him back, cupping his face with one hand and pressing a kiss to his lips once more. Allen returned it, before he smiled against Sarrica’s lips and pulled way.

‘Let me wash my face, I look a mess,’ he said.

‘You look beautiful.’

‘You’ve already apologised, you don’t need to flatter,’ Allen laughed, stroking his hand down the front of Sarrica’s jacket before lightly pushing him away and wandering out the study and into his room. Sarrica watched him until he disappeared through the doorway, then poked his head out into the hall to order their lunch brought to them in their suite - and that they were not to be disturbed. At the very least, they could both avoid their work for a little while.


End file.
